Wife of Tomas Klus Tamar: Thanks to the children, I found out who I was

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Did you do anything different with Josefina’s first daughter? Something you looked back on as a mistake you didn’t repeat with other kids?
I call our Josefinka Svršek, the changer of our lives. She made us a mom and a dad and no one will take over this role, it’s forever. It is clear that a person with the first child solves everything more, buys everything more, because although he thinks he can imagine what it will be like as a parent, he knows it until birth.

I will never forget that feeling at first glance in his giant ocean blue eyes. If I had to analyze what I would have done differently over time, I would be less worried about losing myself in the role of a mother – an imaginary freedom. Because it’s the exact opposite. Thanks to the children, I just discovered who I was somewhere deep inside me, without all the games, masks, expectations that I am. So if it goes back in time, I’ll enjoy it a bit more. Fortunately, I became aware of this as soon as Alfred arrived.

What makes you richer thanks to children?
I feel like Tom and I are love oil tycoons… The richest beings in the universe.

Are your children a source of inspiration?
My greatest inspiration lies in my masterful experience and in my abandonment to the world of fantasy. I’m just an apprentice, so I feel like a beginner, but the effort is huge. Children can immerse themselves in their imagination and transform an ordinary bathroom into a vast ocean. And there’s no finer moment than when we hear their invitation, come in and turn into mermaids or mermen with them.

But most of the time, we tear them away behind the splashing tub, the sink spitting on batter, the unfolded clothes, and the roar bugging us while cooking dinner. Yeah Al, sounds pretty shitty to me, looks like BT isn’t for me either. Everything in life is about balance. Both are part of us, they just have to be seen as as balanced as possible.

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I guess because of the kids, you engage in activities that you wouldn’t otherwise. It’s like that?
I don’t think I would do the things that I do. The kids just painted a shortcut for them. When I was performing in the Semafor theater at the age of five, Světlana Nálepková took me on stage and asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I answered without hesitation: “I want to be a mother. And I did. I am a mother and I feel like my personal story only started there.

I published the book Life for Children and Their Parents four years ago and my second literary cub was born this Christmas, and that is the book About All Animals, the first edition of which is nearly sold out after a month and a half. I appreciate it so much and it makes me so happy that this book brings joy… Not only to parents who read the book to children, but especially to children who listen to its stories. These are the most important reviews for me.

Did you have to learn something new because of the children to pass on the know-how?
There are many. But I’m going to tell you what I never learned, and I dare say I never will learn. Have you ever noticed that moms can’t make the sound of a car? I don’t know the only one who can make such believable and natural sounds come out of her mouth while playing with cars. We never dare these fathers and sons.

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What period with the children was the most difficult for you? When did you feel like you couldn’t do it completely and it was too much for you?
So since our three children were born in four years, it was quite a carousel. But hormones are powerful wizards, so I have no deep trauma about the difficulty. Looking at the videos and photos from that time, I shake my head incomprehensibly like we might have done without medication. (laughs) But the first thing that came to mind when you asked me was when I found two commas on the pregnancy test for the third time.

Next to me, six-year-old Alfred was brushing up on his hobbies and three-year-old Jos was wax painting on the bathtub. I burst into tears and wondered how the universe could have done this? I already have two babies? How can I get a third? At that time, I hadn’t realized that in nine months my reality would be different, that the children would be taller again and a bit smarter. The very next day I admitted that things would be different now and began to rejoice that life itself was the best director, so I said yes to the female lead in this movie.

What helped you when you were “awakened”?
It helped me to know that each season would end once. And I tried to focus on what I had, and not worry about what I didn’t have or what I would otherwise like. Happiness is found everywhere and in everything around us. We just have to be aware of it.

He lives in the countryside and loves nature. That’s why it’s no wonder that Tamara fell in love with the Biorganica concept cosmetics. TAMARA became a triple mother in four years. The eldest Josefína is almost nine, Alfred five and the youngest Jenovéfa four.

How much time do you have for yourself and how do you manage it?
One of the greatest strengths of our relationship with Tom is communication. We can talk and hear each other. So when he wants to go to the sauna, I wish him and I don’t create bad scenarios in my head like, “Um great, so the guy came after three days and he doesn’t want to be with us because he must rest”, but I would say that it was necessary to demand what he has been creating for three days now, and let him enjoy it.

And going to the sauna is a good idea, so I’ll go tomorrow morning. I’m the kind of person who tends to care more about the happiness of the world around me than about its happiness and needs. And that’s exactly what Tom teaches me every day. He’s very good at it. He can listen to his body, take care of it… And so he can give me as much time for him. Except that sometimes he has to ram me in so I don’t cough on myself – the world will wait. (laugh)

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Do you have your evening and morning rituals? What do they belong to?I love movies… So when I’m home alone, I watch all kinds of genres. I like being in the picture. But I also like to create, so from eight o’clock in the evening it’s my sacred moment to materialize everything that moves me. Sometimes I sit at the piano, sometimes at artwork, and other times Tom and I just roll around on our kerosene couch, eat chili chips, and talk about what each of us has been through.

What is Tamara’s “house” and Tamara’s “work” like? Some women are still neat, others allow themselves to be natural at home. What belongs to you when you are at home and what happens if you come “in faith”?
I have such a little trouble. I change several times a day. I have to dress in a different skin for each activity. While I’m writing, I need to create an environment around me that visually calms me down, inspires me, and doesn’t affect me much at the same time. I have a beautiful oak desk almost two and a half meters long in my office, which I always turn into a bulletin board. Then I start to work.

I saw your hairdresser somewhere. It’s a complete woman’s paradise. And your daughters? Are they already visiting him?
Yes of course. They visit her with and without permission, but always with respect and style, that I don’t recognize their visit by throwing it away, but by looking like Easter eggs. (laughs) But for example, they can both apply lipstick like the biggest pros. I think it’s good that they tend to take care of themselves since they were little.

How do you actually divide the time between your children? For example, do you have a rule that you only spend two hours a week on one of them?
We try to realize the so-called “day according to you”, when one of the children makes a plan for the whole day. Which was worse now during the covid period. And then the day we spend time with just one of them. And it’s such an emotional fast charger. I think it is very important for large families and it is a gift among all gifts for this particular child.

The same question refers to a partnership. Can you find the time you and your husband have just for you?Tom and I are dating and romantic. So we invite you on dates, organize childcare and we can only find time for the two of us. Or I’ll follow him for an overnight tour of the hotel. I have such a visualization of how I view family. The family is a house and mom and dad are the fireplace. And when it’s not burning, the house may be nicer, but he won’t live there… And so we always try to have something to flood…

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How do you manage home care? Are you alone or do you have someone to help you when needed?
Since moving to a new house, the cleaners come to see us once a week, the best and most reliable cleaning ever. But with three children, we clean daily. All mothers understand what this is about. It’s the most utopian activity with a result that lasts exactly as long as children sleep.

So you also involve the children in the cleaning?
Yeah, they help. Sometimes they like it, sometimes they don’t like it, like everywhere. We try to make them understand that it’s great to take responsibility for them, and that they just take the plate on the line, because this little thing will help my mom and dad a lot. We try to function as a united and self-respecting tribe. And I think we’re doing well so far.

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