Actress Míša Tomešová: There is no ideal mother

When was the last time you felt like a kid?
I feel like this every day lately. Because of the situation, as it is, we have more time with our family, which is one of the few advantages that today offers. We go to different playrooms together, where we ride slides and my husband and I enjoy climbing frames that weren’t for us. In fact, we are both still children lately. »

On the contrary, when did you clearly realize that you really are not a child?
It was recently when the heat pump stopped working and we had a total winter in the house. I had to act as a security mother because the thermometer was at ten degrees inside. We had to leave the house for a week before everything was fixed. And since I have a creative job, where I experience something different every day, it was very demanding from an organizational point of view. So when I’m dealing with logistics and trying to combine family, work, housework and fun, I’m still an adult.

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Is it an advantage to be a young mother? Do you think you are closer to your sons and can understand them more easily than if you were fifteen?
I probably can’t judge it completely. But neighbors and friends who later had children are doing well. Apparently, it’s not a question of age, but rather an internal setting. I became a mother at twenty-five and a lot of people told me it was early because I myself am immature and look a bit like a child. Many people tell me that a child has a child. So if there’s a hidden advantage, maybe it’s because everyone thinks I’m my sons’ older sister. (laugh)

Do you think there is such a thing as a “bad mother”?
There is no ideal mother, perfect mother or bad mother. Every mother does her best for her children and for herself in this particular situation. As a bad or even ideal mother, we can all seem sometimes, but nothing is black and white.

Children are cherished, but sometimes they can overwhelm us. What’s your secret weapon for controlling angry sons?
I may know the levers at those times, because I’ve read and listened a lot about how to raise or not raise a child. But I don’t know if I can still use them properly. It is not possible for children to use the same counter, so each parent must find a way to do this. I’m not saying it always works, but breathing helps. When boys make me angry, I try to breathe it. Or they start laughing when they get angry. At this time, one of the children joins, then the husband laughs, and the angry child ends up laughing too. This method has worked for me a few times.

Can you remember times in your “career as a mother” when you were a really proud mom?
I am constantly proud of them. I go to speech therapy with my two sons and they are making so much progress! I was proud of them, for example, when they wanted to buy something from a pastry shop. I told them I would wait outside and let them order everything themselves. I gave them money, they recalculated everything… so in such moments, in very simple life situations, I am very proud of them.

We like to have fun
In winter we prefer to visit game rooms, and in summer we take trips to various farms, farms, zoos or go to watchtowers. And because the boys are already bigger, we are planning to visit castles and castles this year. I love organizing outings of all kinds so that we can do it as much as possible during the day, so that the children get tired and that together we are full of experiences.

According to you, as a mother, what is the most important thing you should do for your children?
Love them, give them some freedom of expression and give them confidence.

You must have had enough of the things you had to do as a wife and as a parent. How to kill as quickly as possible?
All moms have certain dips. Hectic times will come when we will not be able to catch anything, work, housework – we have a lot on our shoulders. And for me, it’s a good valve to find my three best friends, who each also have two children, and sometimes we go out for a weekend together. Or I’ll sit in the evening and discuss everything with my husband over wine. But what helps me a lot is a visit to a psychotherapist. As part of prevention and mental cleansing, I go to her house every month.

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Do you do preventive psychotherapy?
Exactly. I’m going to therapy so I don’t have to bother my husband with certain things, even though we talk a lot in depth and resolve everything for which I’m grateful. But it’s good to have a totally independent and unbiased observer who will also tell you their opinion and perhaps confirm that you are doing what you are doing right. At least that’s what my therapist does. I will describe to her all the situations that happened, how I handled them, and she then analyzes why I did it and that I am doing everything well. So I always leave her a lot more confident and I trust her a lot more as a mother and an actress.

Is it difficult for a mother-actress to leave the children, often in the evening when it is necessary to play instead of reading fairy tales?
We don’t play enough to dwell on that right now. Rather, I consider the rare times when we can play, and we are grateful that the performance has not been canceled. Honestly, I go to the theater to rest, which isn’t that often. We take turns with my husband, or the boys take care of grandmothers or good neighbours. We don’t have nannies, the boys are used to select groups of people who they will enjoy the time when we are not together. And I will enjoy it too.

You are very busy, you do several performances and last year you added another one. At the Bez zábradlí theater you perform in the musical cabaret. You must have had a good reason to enter a new project when you have young children.
When I was offered to play Sally Bowles, the lead role in the musical Cabaret, there was nothing to settle. This is a unique opportunity for every musical actress and I realize that such an offer can only be lucky once in my life and it would be blasphemous if I did not accept the role. I took all this as a huge workshop. I worked very hard on myself in terms of singing and dancing, I pushed my own limits and I think that was the best decision. The performance is extremely successful, even though we have all reached the bottom of our physical and mental strength, but that’s what you can see. We all put not one hundred but two hundred percent into it, and I’m glad we managed to put it all together. I have evolved and I know that I want to move forward.

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