What is important in a relationship and what destroys it?

Lying, cheating, not having sex or joint projects, living your own. All this leads to destruction and everyone knows it. But there are things that sometimes seem unimportant or even beneficial to the relationship, but that’s not true. It’s according to the British sex and relationship experts Tracey Cox six love-damaging habits she developed for the British Daily Mail.

1. You solve problems with grand gestures

Something happened, you argued wildly and you were still mad at yourself. And then comes the “culprit” with a flashy gesture of apology: a ticket to Paris, a luxury gift, a gigantic conciliatory sex…And again, it’s quiet for a while.

But you just postponed a big deal. “Count on resolving long-standing and recurring issues beautiful gestures it’s like trying to fix a broken arm with a patch,” says Tracey Cox. The little things (sweet gestures, little touches, and expressions of affection) go a long way, but they come on a regular basis and not in response to an argument or a problem.

2. You don’t laugh together

You don’t find your partner’s jokes very funny and he doesn’t like yours at all? Commmon sense of humor is for maintaining relationship satisfaction crucial thing. “If you can’t laugh at the same things, if you find something fun for everyone, what are the chances that you’ll go through hard times together?” Tracey Cox asks.

According to her, this means that you have a different view of the world, and moreover you probably do not have a similar ability to feel when there is no time for forums and what is so much for each other. sensitive subjectthat he just isn’t joking about it.

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Do you like regular sex, but don’t laugh together? Maybe you have a big problem

3. You protect your partner from problems

You do not confide in him (or her) with personal problems, What bothers you at work, disagreements with friends, etc. Just with things that are not explicitly related to the partner and there is nothing he can do about it. Seems like a nice gesture – you don’t want to make a fuss about it.

But you usually sense that something is wrong with your partner, and when you keep asking, “Is something wrong?” How are you? And the answer is again and again. “You may feel like you’re protecting the other, but as a result, you drive a wedge between you, making you feel like you don’t trust them,” warns Tracey Cox.

4. You don’t show your true self

The couples for whom it really works are characterized by both partners they can be genuine. This means, among other things, revealing things about yourself that don’t really respect a person or that may be a problem – for example, saying that your plans have changed. Did you want to work on the child at the time, but have just been offered a promotion? Needless to say, your counterpart probably won’t be thrilled.

Because otherwise you have two options – either you pull your partner’s nose and leave it in the dark, or you repress your desires, adapt and it’s only a matter of time before your frustration exceeds the tolerable limit.

5. You cuddle a little

One thing is sex, another is touch and closeness. Seal on the couch watching TV you probably won’t reach orgasmbut it really benefits the relationship. “Hug because it increases the production of oxytocin, thanks to which we feel safe, loved, satisfied”, explains Tracey Cox.

And it has to do with sex. Various polls clearly show that those who don’t cuddle don’t even have a very happy sex life. “The less couples touch each other outside of bed, the less ugly it is in this bed,” explains the expert.

Photo: Alex_Maryna, Shutterstock.com

Being authentic and yours is key, but with honesty and openness it shouldn’t be overdone. A partner is not a trash can to accept all your unresolved problems, frustrations and mistakes without speaking

6. You have a different pace of life

Do you move the world at a similar speed? Often people don’t care, although such a discrepancy can really derail the relationship. “I’m a fast man. I do things fast, I think fast and I walk, I’m impatient… If you stop me every five meters to smell the roses, I’m going to be frustrated in a moment,” says Tracey Cox. Living with someone who has a very different pace than you can be very frustrating for both of you.

To have similar pace of life is important because you can move your life side by side more easily. No one will run away from anyone, no one will be left behind.

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