The father of the two children divorced because of another man. Communication with sons is now the most sensitive topic: what bothers the boy the most?

Milan, you are divorced. Do you live alone now?

No, I lived in the house my wife and I built for a while. I left him logically when we divorced. I’m currently moving back to Prague – I have an apartment here that my wife and I have rented before. And I live here with my partner.

Are you divorced because you are gay?

When you say it like that, it sounds awfully simple. But it is true that I was not completely satisfied with my marriage. My wife and I had a great relationship, he also has two beautiful children, but I always felt something was missing. I guessed what it was all along, but he won’t admit it. Not when he has a pregnant wife at home. And then a son. And then you’re expecting a second child and you know it’s just your family. You don’t want to leave her. You know what I mean?

Probably yes – you didn’t mean to hurt them…

Yes. But I also didn’t want to completely lose them selfishly. It’s not like I was forced to get married. We really loved each other. At one point, you could say, I was also looking forward to intimacy. It worked for us and we probably had everything we dreamed of. So far, I think I’ve truly married the best woman I’ve ever met. She’s a great mother to my kids, she’s smart and kind. I still regret that things turned out the way they did.

Did you admit when you were gay?

In fact, I probably won’t be completely gay. More bisexual, but I’m more attracted to men, it’s true. As I say: I was satisfied with my ex-wife even on the intimate side. But not as much as I have now with my partner.

But to answer your question, I would say that I had two phases like that. The second is when I started a new job four years ago. I work in insurance and at that time I concluded a contract with only one client. There was nothing strange about that – an ordinary insurance policy. But I was very late. You probably understand why. (laugh) I just wanted to stay in touch with this client a little longer. The funny thing is that later Marek – my partner – told me that he recognized that it was too complicated and let me in. I felt like a jerk, but I was glad he liked spending this time with me too.

Have you been together since?

Not even that. We met, but I was still married at the time. I don’t want to date our relationship since it was actually an infidelity. I find it so dirty, ugly. I have been divorced for less than two years. So somehow I would date our relationship with Mark.

How did it all go? What did you say to your wife then? And how did she take it? After all – as you rightly pointed out, it was infidelity…

Luckily, even though it’s clear that it hurt her, she accepted it better than if I was unfaithful to my wife.

She told you that?

Yes. We had quite an intense conversation about this, and not just one. At the end, she told me that she always felt something was different with me. That I wasn’t like her exes. I won’t say it was perfectly fine and she escorted me with a bunch of buns, but she kidnapped him and I’m forever grateful to her. That he doesn’t irritate the children against me is in no way trying to ruin my life. It’s already difficult when you have two almost teenagers. The sons are nine and twelve years old. It’s not easy with them now and at least the eldest doesn’t want to see Mark at all. But the progress is there. I think it just takes longer.

Is he mad at you? And do they have a problem living with a man?

The younger one is even more impressionable. There is also a calmer nature. We talk and understand, we explained how things are – that people can just love each other, whether they are a girl or a boy. And that I still love my mother, just differently. He did, and I think he gets on well with Mark. It’s hard with the eldest. He goes to football, befriends boys who don’t care. I don’t want it to sound bad to them, they’re just kids, but what I noticed in their humor, the mere word “gay” is an insult to them. My son is a big boy, he is good and well mannered, he is just under the influence of teenage friends. Makes sense, we’ve all been through this – of course. So I’m just trying to let things flow and I’m not taking Mark with me to games yet, and so on. So my son doesn’t feel like he’s not the first.

Isn’t Mark a friction pad?

Hooray…

I probably stabbed the wasp nest by now, didn’t I?

It’s the number one topic at home now, yes. I prefer not to talk about it anymore, it’s really a very sensitive subject at the moment.

Well, let’s move on to the children. You talked about two steps to admitting you’re not heterosexual – what was the first? When?

It’s the classic when you’re most wanted…

So still boy? Teenager?

Exactly. When I was seventeen, I began to realize that – to put it bluntly – my choice of adult content on the internet wasn’t entirely a coincidence.

I see. Did you tell your parents then?

I tried to tell them. But that did not work. That’s where I started, like in the woods, we have a boy in the class who only talks about boys and I want to help him. My parents told me not to get involved because the classmate needed a psychiatrist and his parents should be ashamed of their upbringing.

It’s quite rough… How did you wear it?

Basically, I have since closed on this topic. During a very long time.

Now your parents know you have a partner?

They know that. Sure. Mark and I live together, it wouldn’t be possible to keep it a secret. But I’m an adult and can handle the sights of the neighborhood.

Did they criticize you?

Of course, they were shocked. Who would not be. Especially when I separated my family. But they took it as if I had left for another woman. I liked it. I deserved misery for this infidelity, it’s normal to be criticized for that. The moral law was on their side.

Have you resumed the discussion you had with them as a teenager?

I laughed it off, but ours didn’t even remember us talking about anything like that. I think they really believed in me at the time that he was just a classmate, and they completely let it go. So my mom was sorry for reacting that way. We told each other and I must say that I am extremely grateful to my family.

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