Mum at the level crossing: What is Venedla Pizingerová talking about with her friends?

I don’t know how you did it, but I’ve actually been friends with boys since I was a kid. Already when I lived in Černošice. At the time it was a village, we were one of the last houses and we had elderly people as neighbours. And I went to talk to them. There were hardly any children, there was a boy who lived a few houses my first child friend. Then I started going to school and I really don’t remember ever having a girlfriend as a friend.

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Motol Hospital Friendship

I got married very early and was actually completely torn from the area where I lived. All my relationships fell apart and my immediate circle was my family. Then came all these unreal vicissitudes with the health of Klara’s daughter. The man was not even allowed to cultivate friendships. But paradoxically, at Motol Hospital, I started to make the first real friendships. They were girls who spent more time there than me, mentally overwhelmed by everything that was happening around their children.

My strongest memory belongs to Olina. I remember sitting there in the very last room with a little girl, still crying. So I gradually started to take her out of there. When the children slept, we went to the balcony, had a coffee, sometimes a cigarette, even wine in the evening. We tried to forget all the daily worries, the dosage of the drugs, the blood counts, all that, and we had fun like normal girls. Recently, paradoxically, I met his acquaintance, whom I didn’t even know. The gentleman came to me and said: I have known you since Olina’s story, you helped her a lot then. It warmed my heartthat basically in a quarter of a century, you will give such a beautiful reaction.

Then there were other women, moms, daughters, who we would sit with in the evenings, discuss our worries and help each other. A completely different life is lived in the hospitala person is torn from his family environment and lives somewhere where he fights for the health and life of his child. And these relationships are for life. Even if we don’t see each other, or if we have a longer gap, I still have these girls in my heart. To this day, I know exactly what they look like. I know what they were wearing, and I know them all by name, even though we’ve all scattered throughout the republic.

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It always ends in gossip

And then there’s what I don’t want to call ordinary, but rather ordinary girl friendship. I have longtime friends Hanka and Marketa. We used to meet for lunch, coffee, go to a bar and go on vacation together. We spent a few days abroad and had a lot of experiences. We’ve had great success ever since. we are all equally fucked. So today I’m not going much, but in a few days I’ll see the girls and I’m really looking forward to it.

When I started dating Josef, I stopped those cleansing peels for a while. And I think that was a shame. My husband also has friends and also travels and spends time with them. So we went back to the girls and it always ends the same way – gossip. I don’t know if there is envy or another point of view. And I think when men are together, sometimes they’re even worse at gossip than women. But shh, you can’t say that out loud.

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Liberating friendship with Hanka and Marketa

That’s how it is with girls we have many common themes, of course, there are relationships, work and family. But we also care about what we take on and what we do for ourselves. I think it’s also frivolous and really liberating. We can tell each other what we think and it’s good that the other takes it, because that’s what friendship is.

Sometimes you do shit and the truth is relative. We each have a different perspective, and in every relationship, understanding and knowing why the other did/said it is very important. And especially not to evaluate, because we are all original. I tried to assess the other, but believe me, there is always something deeper in why you do it. Hanka and Marketa are close to me. Each of us has a different life destiny, we have lived with our partners and without partners, we have lived painful but also happy moments. We have always tried to help and advise each other. As the saying goes, two is advice and three is betrayal, so in this case, I believe it’s not.

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Sometimes I’m a little lonely

Lucka now has a sovereign place in my friendships (for a very long time, more than 15 years), who is the mother of little Anička. We were just as pregnant, we’ve been through things like that, and we have kids the same age. We spend a lot of time together, not only with ordinary chatter, but also in silence. We can help each other and I believe that our children will one day be so close.

Sometimes I’m a bit lonely because I just want to be alone, but I can’t really be alone. And especially, I keep saying something to someone, maybe several times already, but that’s how it is with me. It wasn’t until adulthood that I started forming friendships with women, and it’s even more valuable that the deeper relationships have lasted. Like my friend Katka, who doesn’t live near me but we spent a lot of time together, they had a lot of great experiences. And it’s about the fact that we just know that when one or the other picks up the phone, it’s like we said goodbye from a table yesterday.

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Occasionally I would like evening cshe wanted to be a fly

All relationships in life must have their energy. Positive energy, when there is only a simple joie de vivre. All the women I have around me have one thing in common – we love the world, and that’s why we can relate to each other well. Knowing how to listen is very important in friendship. It’s sometimes difficult for me, because I’m a person who grinds a lot and tells stories.

And friendships are also important for a relationship between a man and a woman, because it comes under relational hygiene. We girls have a different perspective and men have a completely different one. I admit sometimes that when Josef goes to the chundra with his friends, I would like to be a fly by the fire in the evening and listen to what they are talking about. And I think if ever men were flies, it wouldn’t always be very good for them. It’s important to have friends because you can share your life together and this energy unites you. When we are united by beautiful things, a feeling of joy and laughter, then we handle even negative things better. And my friends, whom I had around me for a very long time, walked the thorny path with me.

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I appreciate older friends for wisdom

I haven’t had a mother in a long time, that’s probably why I like to make friends with women older than me. These include actress Eva Holubová and the wife of presidential candidate Pavel Fischer, Dana Fischerová. There, I very much appreciate the advice, the wisdom and the rarity of the time spent with them both. And I must not forget Simon. My last article was about her. Simona is my mother-in-law, but also a lifelong friend.

It’s weird or not weird, but it’s actually nice that every time I deal with a topic, I have to analyze it. It makes me think about what it really got me and what it really is. It is very purifying and I’m glad to put my head away and sort my thoughts out with you.

I’m glad to say I have friends. Thank you!

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