“Before losing my parents, I prefer to break up with my partner and live as expected of me,” fears the Pilsen graduate.

You now live in Pilsen with your parents, don’t you?

Technically still yes. I graduated this year – there was a delay because once in my freshman year I changed fields and they didn’t recognize my subjects, so I had to start over. I’ll be twenty-one in a month and I’m already counting the months of going to school, finding a job and becoming independent.

Don’t get along with your parents?

In fact, we understand. It’s not like we’re arguing. But I know they wouldn’t agree with the way things are.

So your parents don’t know you’re not straight?

They don’t know and I’ll probably never tell them. In our family, only the man and the woman are generally recognized. Our grandmother doesn’t talk to her aunt because she’s divorced – even that sounds bad to them. It is simply clear to us what can and cannot be done. Divorce, gay couples or even just living in a heap is wrong in our opinion.

Are you sure they would condemn you?

Absolutely. When I see how they can argue with their aunt about a stupid divorce, which is common these days, and I think it’s healthy: if I don’t get along with someone, it’s worth better to divorce than to worry.

I am their only son. They’re already so disappointed that I said I wouldn’t go to college. But they accepted it because they see that I like taking pictures and I earn a little more by taking pictures. It’s not for a living yet, so I’m going to need a job, but at least he thinks I’m going to get better. For my birthday, my dad promised me a very expensive lens and the portable, powerful light I wanted.

I know you have a boyfriend. For how long have you been together ?

It’s been less than a year now.

Is this your first relationship?

Longer yes. I was trying to date girls. But I always had to force myself into it – like going on a date, maintaining it somehow. But ours were satisfied, and the girls were fine. I love them. I don’t like it and I wasn’t as attracted as I would have liked.

Did you live intimately with them?

I know that sounds silly, but yes. It took me a long time to fully admit that I wouldn’t break it. When I “got” my first girlfriend at sixteen, I thought it was bad in bed because it was the first experience, so maybe not much is known yet. And that maybe I’m not in love enough, because I don’t live it that much. It was simply a fiasco. Yet paradoxically, as long as I was pretending to be a girl, I had more people interested in sex than I do now as a gay man. (laugh)

What is that?

I don’t know, girls have always flown up to me. I like talking to them, we understand each other. I also like to go shopping… I guess he doesn’t get bored with me. I only had one guy, and he’s my friend. With him, I understood why it didn’t bother me so much with these girls. It wasn’t that because it was this it couldn’t be.

You hid your partner’s parents for almost a year. Do you mean continue forever?

It is complicated. My partner and I also argue a lot about it. I don’t want to tell my parents because I know how it would feel. But the thing is, he’s right again, maybe one day it will float somewhere and the truth will come out. I do not know. I don’t even want to think about it.

I understand. And in the future, would you like to live with a friend?

I would love to and my companion even offered me to live with him, but I couldn’t invite my parents without them. So first I want to live alone. It will be easier, at least insofar as we and our partner can visit indefinitely. Now I always have to find something for my parents – where I am, where I’m going and with whom, why I’m not sleeping at home, etc. When I get my house, I won’t have that control.

Don’t you really see that you would introduce your partner to your parents, if only as your loved one?

No. I am twenty years old and my friend is over thirty. I don’t have an older friend like that, my parents would probably be very surprised. I think they would have a lot of questions and it would be weird for them. The partner is already balanced with himself – he works, has his own apartment and at the same time tends to put things very simply. If he met ours, I don’t think he would shut up. He would tell his parents how things were going and maybe they would argue because he didn’t like the idea of ​​my parents dreaming about me.

What’s the idea?

Well, one day I’ll be a doctor or a lawyer – that’s what our people have always said. And that I will find a girl to marry after school and that I will have at least three children. Ours only have me because they failed to have another child, so they want to make up for it with their grandchildren. I’ve heard this since I was a kid: that I’m a prayed-up child and that I’ll soon have to bring them grandkids so they can enjoy it. Years ago they even bought us some land here on the condition that they would give it to me as a wedding present, when I got married, so that I would have a place to build a house and not go into debt. the parcel.

And you want a house?

Actually, I want to live in the city. Ideally in a new building. I don’t want to take care of the garden. I don’t even appreciate it at home.

Don’t you think yours would understand? After all, they have already accepted that you are neither a doctor nor a lawyer. They let you take pictures and even supported you at the end…

It’s true. But you know what it is – I mostly take pictures of girls. I just like women’s fashion more. Dad always comments on photos and asks me which one I asked out on a date. Mom shuts him up, but I see he’s thinking the same thing. It’s annoying that I last brought the girl home about a year ago. I have no idea what I’m going to do next… But before losing my parents, I prefer to leave my partner, even if it hurts. And I would just do what they wanted me to do and I would live as expected.

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