Do you feel like a bad parent? It’s good. Let’s talk about education with the teacher

08/04/2022

Photo: Pixabay

The description: Parents; This time, the article is dedicated to parenthood rather than education

I know today’s article won’t get me a standing ovation, but I’ll write it anyway. Why? I want to support parents in their parenting efforts, which are constantly hampered by unsolicited advice from people who often don’t even have children. Various “experts” still compel us to say that corporal punishment is unacceptable, uneducational and wrong. It’s nonsense, so many parents don’t know if they are bad parents. As an educator, I insist on a donkey giving a sermon at the right time. And to be complete, two-thirds of Czech parents agree. This is not the cry of a lonely madman.

The feeling that we are impossible as parents and that we do everything wrong, sometimes we all have it. I would say that we all make mistakes, and often they are not mistakes in the true sense of the word. Some problems are a natural part of a child’s development. For example, arguments between parents and children during puberty and post-puberty (that is, between the ages of 12 and 13) are typical. This is the age when our children wonder, “How can a child as big as me have such stupid parents?” These conflicts – especially between fathers and sons or mothers and daughters – are a natural side effect of a young person’s independence.

Did that calm you down? Otherwise, I will allow myself one more observation: a bad parent will not ask himself if he is doing something wrong. So, if it occurs to you that you are a bad parent, it means that you are thinking about your role as a parent, that is, taking care of your children. And that you find errors? It happens. We are all wrong. The important thing is that we try to give the best to the children.

Butt slapping is an acronym – not a short circuit

If I want to educate someone, I need to have the tools to do it – both positive (praise, rewards…) and negative (scolding, slapping, banning…). And then I also need to step in quickly from time to time – it’s just her ass at the right time. The slap in itself may not be a punishment, but the only possible solution. If the child tries to tear our hand away from the transition, we have nothing else left.

It’s also often a way to seek redress quickly if for some reason we can’t wait. For example, if a child is having a hysterical fit in a mall, I can let him roll on the floor and leave so he can’t see me, but I can. This has two effects – if the child does not have the desired audience (i.e. the one he wants to buy something from), there is no point in playing in the theatre. The second effect – he begins to have other worries such as: “Where’s mommy?!” Children only repeat “techniques” that have worked. Once I quit and the kid knows “hysteric works” he will use it next time. If I don’t have time, I “cut” the child’s ass and leave. Unfortunately no coffee. Slap is actually an educational shortcut. Even then, the child hasn’t reached his way in a way we don’t like and the parent “wins” again. In fact, in the long term, the child also wins – he acquires social skills.

How to raise an untouchable?

Under the effect of ideologies and “liberal education” pushed by subsidies, parents lose certain educational tools – especially the most negative ones. Negative doesn’t have to be bad – it’s one of the common motivations children will continue to encounter in the future. Or don’t they risk fines, reduced bonuses, restaurant bans, police trunks or even jail time in the future? In the freest country in the world, they can also expect an electric chair.

Due to antisocial educational trends, “behavioral disorders” are on the rise, and childhood crime and substance abuse among children and adolescents are also on the rise. These tendencies are antisocial simply because they emphasize rights but neglect obligations. However, we develop social skills only through a balanced mix of rights and obligations. By unilaterally imposing our duties, we raise a slave, by unilaterally applying “rights”, we raise a smug tyrant. But that’s probably not our goal. Where is it?

The tree is recognizable by its fruits

Since the 1989 coup, child and juvenile delinquency has multiplied. The same goes for drugs and other addictive substances. At the same time, education has declined – since 1989 the school results of Czech children have steadily declined in international comparison. These are the indicators that measure the quality of the education system. Of course, hand in hand with the legal system. If an immature person brimming with “human rights” is given no duty and no responsibility, it is no wonder that such an individual cannot manage his freedom responsibly. And some children’s rights are really weird. In Finland, for example, children have the right to access the Internet.

Due to disproportionate protection, children gain a sense of impunity, and as a result of violent movies and computer games, they also experience a sense of their own immortality. They live by the idea that the car “must stop” regardless of braking distance etc. They have priority! At least he thinks so. This was fully manifested when the absolute priority of pedestrians at level crossings was decreed for a very short period. They had to cancel it immediately because people who felt they had “the right” were hitting the road in situations where drivers had no chance to stop in time. Legal laws can be twisted at will, but physical laws always work the same way. In the ice, the car does not stop, in defiance of the indisputable rights of children. Ah, this nature.

Exorcism

As children’s rights increase, so does the number of children taking ‘sedatives’. Did you know that the prescription of these drugs to children has increased ninefold since 1989? In schools, children are said to be “medicated”. It’s a nice synonym for “fooling”, isn’t it?

Have you ever thought that mind-altering drugs that are supposed to calm children actually work like a simple slap? I’ll explain. These drugs do not eliminate the very cause of the problem – they only modify the child’s side effects. And the educational slap on the ass works the same way. It also has no effect on the cause, only the child is obliged to behave in accordance with social customs.

Reasonable people can also be found in government

I was satisfied with Marián Jurečka in her interview, where she precisely defines the role of the “educational slap”. I couldn’t have said it better myself, so I would like to quote the Minister: “I am grateful to my parents for having also slapped at the right time. I come from a background where my parents knew how to define where the guardrails at the right time. I think most parents can exercise caution when seeking this exceptional means. Of course, there are parents who behave cruelly and inadequately, but we can report it by enlightenment. As a parent, I also had a moment in an exceptional situation, where you reprimand the second time, the third time and it has no effect, so you just start sticking your ass up. But I specify that I did it in units of boxes that I can count on the fingers of my two hands.

Pedagogically

The second thing I liked about the minister is the so-called “educational” in the amount of 500 CZK per month, which PARENTS should receive upon retirement as a reward for taking care of their children. A fantastic idea to reward parents who give time, knowledge and also a lot of money to their children! To do this, they had to give up something – forgive something. The reasoning of the “educators” is very factual: “It is an act of justice. The decision to have children is not only about me, but also a responsibility towards the whole society. Unfortunately, our pension system is designed to assess earnings and length of employment. On the contrary, nowhere does it take into account the merit of raising the children of contributing parents, thus practically feeding the state system. So we took education as a kind of settlement of wrongs towards our parents and grandparents. These people are often in a socially difficult situation, they should be entitled to another type of benefit, but they cannot apply for it because they have their pride and dignity. In this short paragraph, Mr. Jurečka named 3 serious problems at the same time):

People who have lived an honest job all their lives are ashamed to apply for social benefits. Unlike others who have never worked and consider benefits as a normal source of income. That is why we must give them the money they deserve.

People who raise children invest hundreds of thousands of crowns with their own money in the future social system, but they take money from the system the same amount as those who did not fund future “contributors” to the system retirement, sometimes less.

He returns to the forgotten respect of the elders – to his own roots. I am not aware of any politician, in addition to pre-election bribes, wanting to reward our parents and grandparents, at least symbolically.

Direct economic dependence between generations must be restored

I will end this time with the last of the ideas above. Today, the Czech Republic is trying to attract as many Ukrainians as possible. Politicians hope this will save the pension system. If they do very well, they could put off the problem of an aging population for a few years. But this does not solve the problem – newcomers will take over our value system and with it the “comfortable number of children” in the family. They will not voluntarily lower their standard of living.

The problem is that the welfare state has severed intergenerational ties and everyone benefits from the same quality in old age, whether or not they educate the future “breadwinners”. It would suffice to fix a guaranteed minimum pension, supplemented by direct “social insurance” contributions paid by children to their own parents – I estimate that around 9% of gross income would suffice. Today, 12.5% ​​are paid. The remaining 3.5% would finance a minimum common base.

It is clear that 9% of a doctor’s income will represent more than 9% of the income of five social recipients. This would motivate people not only to have children, but also to provide them with a very good education and make them work hard. And for that, they need all the right teaching resources – including the proverbial blow that doesn’t fall afterward.

Entered by: Stanislav Korityak

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