The profession of divorce coach is not yet quite common in the Czech Republic. Describe what you can imagine under this profession.
The divorce coach is a “friend” in discomfort, who supports, explains, is on the phone, guides the whole divorce process, helps to prepare the documents for the lawyer. In the beginning, women deal with individualities under the influence of emotions, but they miss divorce strategies. They don’t realize that these are irreversible life decisions and that many women’s divorces are financially drained or broken.
From there, I’m here to set up the whole process to make it as efficient as possible right from the start, when it’s clear that a woman is not going to avoid divorce. Divorce is a matter of negotiation.
You write on your website that you are happily divorced. Can you describe how you can happily divorce and what is your personal experience?
My old marriage was killed by alcohol. Living with an alcoholic can be interesting until a child comes into a relationship. Then it’s just a sad race: you get lost, you don’t recognize what’s normal and what’s behind the line. When you leave this unhappy cohabitation, you will suddenly feel the incredible joy and ease of living. You will breathe a lot again! That’s why he’s happy to divorce.
We know that life does not end in divorce. What do you think is the key to starting a new happy life?
The certainty that everything had been done to save the marriage, and yet there was no avoidance of divorce. It is also a negotiation of the best conditions for you and your children. It is also important to resolve the settlement of the property of the spouses before the divorce.
Are there more people interested in your services?
This has not always been the case, as the divorce coach is a relatively new trend in the Czech Republic. Clients usually come on the recommendation of friends who have followed my coaching. The number of women in need of help and support continues to grow. They usually come to me when they’re faced with a divorce and don’t know what to do next. Also, when they are considering ending their marriage and they are aware that it is better to be prepared for divorce because going through divorce proceedings without a head does not pay off.
What problems do divorced women most often face? Are they children, property?
First of all, women need to orient themselves and throughout the divorce process. If the husband asks for a divorce, the woman’s world collapses. Then, first and foremost, they need psychological support to prepare to face divorce agreements that will affect their future life. We spend most of our time setting up the life of the children after the divorce and, of course, the property settlement agreement, which I recommend being done before the divorce. With women who are still considering divorce, we spend most of our time deciding that a divorce is truly inevitable, and then preparing for the divorce.
Are we still ashamed of a divorce today?
On the contrary, we are ashamed to cry and be hurt during a divorce. It also bothers us that we have failed as mothers and wives. Unfortunately, nowadays, almost one in two marriages is divorced. It is common in schools for children to have different surnames than their mothers, and no one stops there. Divorce is a common part of life today.
What was the most complicated file you have handled?
Every divorce story is sad. The most difficult situation for a woman is when she loses her home and her job at the same time because of a divorce. The most complicated case was when one of the children was physically disabled in the marriage, the man mentally abused the wife, but on the outside he seemed like a loving father and husband. After difficult negotiations that lasted several months, the spouses agreed on conditions that were satisfactory to all parties and did not conflict with the interests of the child concerned.
Have you ever thought that your clients reconsidered a divorce in collaboration with you?
Yes, it happened and it always will. If a woman is considering divorce, we discuss saving the marriage and what her life will be like after divorce. Sometimes women seek solutions too quickly and do not realize that the coexistence of two people leads to disillusion after a while. So you have to work on the relationship for life. Then there is a turning point for women when the children leave home and they lose the meaning of their lives. Then, I recommend bringing new impulses into the marriage, rather than wasting the years spent together on boredom and fantasy.
Do you have a specific story?
I had a client who realized while planning the divorce that if she left, she would lose the man who loved her and showed her the world. She realized that everything he did was for the family and especially for her. She started looking at her husband’s workload from a different angle and instead of getting a divorce, she decided to go to a marriage counseling center with her husband.
You plan to publish a divorce manual. Can we summarize the basic advice for a successful divorce?
This can’t be answered in a few sentences, which is why the book Unbroken by Divorce…a divorce handbook for women, which I wrote with therapist Michaela Tetzeli, has just been published. The book is unique in its approach to divorce. In addition to advice for a successful divorce, you will find many stories of divorced women, the point of view of a therapist and the help of a divorce coach.
Agatha talks openly about money: She “rushed” the bill because of Prachar! And he doesn’t even get child support
Agatha talks openly about money: She “rushed” the bill because of Prachar! And he doesn’t even get child support Marketa Reinischova
divorce handbook for women
Author: Archives of Petra Svobodová