The disease opened my eyes, I want to leave my dysfunctional marriage – Dáma.cz

Mirca’s marriage did not last long. Mirka stayed there out of habit, but she couldn’t leave. Finally, a serious illness had to enter her life to finally leave the man to whom she had remained indifferent for many years.

As soon as I announced my diagnosis to Radek, I knew somewhere deep down how he would react. Radek just said to me, “Hmm… like you’re not going to work? And who will take care of the garden?

I tried to explain to him how I felt and that I was terribly scared, because my grandmother died of this disease and my mother too. But Radek obviously didn’t listen anymore, he even whistled “Shh!” at me, when Slavia was about to score. But the goalkeeper grabbed the ball, Radek swore and turned to me, growling: “So how long will you be drunk?” That’s all he said to me that night!

I was basically stunned with fear – breast cancer is no fun. Fortunately, even though I had a promising prognosis, the empathetic and kind doctor I consulted gave me confidence. The tumor was small, demarcated and had not yet reached the lymph nodes in the armpit. I was lucky in misfortune.

Radek and I have been together for twenty years. Our marriage was not very happy, for many years we stayed together somehow out of inertia, habit and comfort. The husband is a strange person. He is a pessimist about life, everything is going wrong in his world. But if he ruled the world, it would be much better on earth.

Moodiness is standard with my husband, he is very judgmental of everything and everyone, he has always been prone to that, but now his moods are getting worse year by year, even compared to me. He just treats me – to be exact – well, like a thug.

But he never raised his hand to me, but rather treated me dismissively, rudely, completely without empathy, like something. In short, I am more comfortable with such an inventory and a machine with multiple functions, which unfortunately breaks down day by day.

My illness had the potential to bring us closer and closer, but unfortunately, the exact opposite happened. Radek was supposed to take me to the hospital for an operation, we were arranged. I was very scared, I needed support. But the man had spent the previous night at the annual fire department and returned early in the morning and well cared for. Then he just didn’t get up in the morning.

My daughter had to take me, she had two days until graduation and a new driver’s license. I was really sorry to involve her in everything, she had had enough of her worries. Fortunately, the operation went well, I recovered well, but I still had a series of irradiations and five chemotherapies – just in case.

All the while, the man looked like he had a mild virus. My illness bothered him a lot and reduced the comfort to which he was accustomed. And so he was grumpier than usual. Physically, I lost strength during chemotherapy, but paradoxically I gained weight – the decision matured in me that as soon as I gathered a little, I would leave.

I thought to myself that I had spent so many years with such a person. That I put my head in the sand and closed my eyes to what my husband looked like. I even apologized to my daughter for letting my marriage go this far. I was a bad example for her. My wonderful little girl hugged me and told me not to worry about anything now and most importantly get together, which I honestly did.

When I told my husband after finishing chemotherapy that I was planning on going to the spa for a month, he only cared who would cook the cucumbers, lecha and purees – just treating harvesting the garden and also taking care of the household. “Radek, I don’t know who is going to do it, either you or hire someone. You can also spread the harvest and compost it at worst. Don’t count on Anežka, she has set up a brigade in Prague. She wants to win money during the holidays, I can’t give him much money now after this long illness.”

The man then slammed the door, and even shouted something he doesn’t usually do. In similar situations, I usually cry, that day I just smiled at myself and thought: “Okay, okay, whatever you want!”

I left the spa rested, full of energy and of physical and mental strength. I had thought of everything, planned. I filed for divorce in the fall. Radek was absolutely against it. He even started trying a little at home. Unnecessarily. I am determined.

Even though the fact that I was very seriously ill, that I underwent very unpleasant and demanding treatment did not move him, I have no illusions about his desire to change. to was permanent. I know neither divorce nor post-divorce period they won’t be easy, but I have absolutely no reason to stay in the current relationship. I think and hope that I am not making a mistake.

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