Putin’s Educational Atlas: If All Countries Thinked Like Vladimir Vladimirovich

For example, the Turks might have a problem with such arguments, since much of Ukraine fell into their sphere of influence at the time of the greatest expansion of the Ottoman Empire. Their empire stretched from Mecca to almost kyiv, they owned much of North Africa, and they bit into Europe so badly that we had to knock them out near Vienna. Twice.

Can you imagine Erdoğan demanding the return of Budapest? Well, me too, so shh, let’s not push him ideas unnecessarily. On the other hand, I can’t help thinking how the Poles attach hussar wings to tanks, and that’s cool. Once again, Poland could do something useful to change.

JAROSLAV ŠAJTAR January 28, 2014 • 09:53

Speaking of Poland, the French may want to remind you that two hundred years ago they had an empire that literally stretched from Gibraltar to Warsaw. And yes, any Russophile could argue that what finally broke Napoleon’s neck was a campaign in Russia, but again, no one can tell me that the Russians and Napoleon won there at the time. Burning down your own towns and retreating to the steppes for many months is not a victory. This is cheating.

Perhaps it would be enough for the Ukrainians to cross the border with Russia, take three steps inland and wait for the Russians to burn Moscow themselves. They have a habit.

Blankets with smallpox

It would be better if the Spaniards came up with something like that, because according to the Tordesillas agreement, all of Kamchatka belongs to them. And the American continent from Tierra del Fuego to Alaska. According to this document, the Portuguese, on the other hand, own Africa, much of Asia and most of Australia. Maybe the Russians should be careful not to let smallpox-infected blankets land in the Kremlin.

But Putin could follow Britain’s lead and tactfully keep quiet about historic claims to foreign territory. Can you even imagine Boris Johnson performing on the BBC tonight and claiming that territory that belonged to the British Empire was a historic part of Britain?

That they already have five tons of opium in Liverpool, which they are going to send to China? And that they will finally fight the struggling colonies across the Atlantic? Not that no. They are just dragging their feet and happy to have been left with Scotland after Brexit.

Hail, Berlusconi!

When we’re in Britain… I’m really sorry that Italians don’t have those tendencies, because the idea of ​​someone like Silvio Berlusconi, for example, restoring the Roman Empire is something that would be written in gold letters in the annals of bizarre history for the ages.

Imagine a Roman legion, but armed with automatic rifles… and they are Italians, so they ride in Vespas and instead of “Ave, Berlusconi!” just give a conspiratorial wink and say “Ciao!” Imagine such a legion reoccupying Paris, London, Cairo, Istanbul, sorry, Constantinople. Put your hand on your heart and tell me honestly: would you really not want to see it?

The idea of ​​Austria-Hungary trying to take back lost territories is extremely amusing. I think that today we could still be happy if Vienna welcomed us, and the Slovaks would be happy if the Hungarians annexed them. It’s a good idea everywhere, but it has no future, because yes, it would look like the past.

Laughing with the Russian Invaders: The Internet Responds to the War in Ukraine

Jan Studnicka February 22, 2022 • 12:23

You know, I imagine the history of individual nations as such threads. Sometimes countries work together, sometimes they’re at war, wires cross as if and then they go their own way. And then there’s the Balkans, which in this metaphor look like headphones you’ve been carrying around in your pocket for a month. The scenario is therefore clear, Austria-Hungary tries to annex Bosnia-Herzegovina, and the dust barrel will explode again. There’s not much certainty in the story, but it’s pretty reliable in the Balkans.

In Siberia!

What needs to be mentioned are the events of the Great War and soon after. Classical empires crumbled, other countries emerged. Maybe ours. And even if we no longer live in the same barracks, it’s good that we and the Slovak brothers still support each other, because even if it seems normal to us, it is not customary for the division of the country to happen as well well and with love. And again, *cough, cough* Balkan *cough, cough*.

Do you think it would be fair for us if Petr Fiala goes to Václav Moravec and says to him: “Hey, Slovakia is our historical part, we left there with tanks at midnight.” It wasn’t, was it? An even more interesting question is this: if Putin does not consider Ukraine a sovereign country, would he be ok with us taking over Subcarpathian Russia? Or better yet, all of Siberia, which we snatched from their incompetent clutches in the eighteenth year and then returned to them with their gold? By the way, what did they pay us back for politically raping our asses for forty years?

No debate on the geopolitical history of the world would be complete without mentioning Germany, after all the Germans would have enough evidence to consider the Sudetenland as historically their own. Corn! The Germans have at least enough decency to watch the country for eighty years, be ashamed and pay for all of Europe. To enable them to return to the human race, as Sir Humphry says.

Bullshit and politics: Putin in Ukraine, collaborators there

Bohumil Pecinka February 22, 2022 • 4:33 p.m.

Zeman is our historic part, Putin said.  He has recognized his independence and is preparing…

Dominik Landman February 22, 2022 • 1:44 p.m.

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